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| Food doesn't have to be terrifying. |
In my last blog post (HERE if you didn't read it yet), I talked about what it means to have a bad relationship with food and how it can negatively impact your weight loss or fitness goals. I also discussed the importance of working on that relationship for not only your fitness and health goals, but also to help your mental health.
Having a bad relationship with food can be in many different forms.
It can be feelings of guilt or shame when eating certain foods. It can be binge eating everything in the cupboard when you feel sad or lonely. It could be that you're afraid to eat any sort of "junk" food so you say you're not hungry at your kid's birthday because you're afraid to eat any pizza or cake. It could be panicking and running to the gym after having a burger and fries because you need to burn off the extra calories. It could mean that you eat only healthy food in front of the world, but in secret, you binge on doughnuts and fast food without telling anyone. Or it could be a full-blown eating disorder (**See note below**).
**NOTE: I am not an eating disorder specialist, nor am I a therapist or psychologist, I am a personal trainer who has personally struggled in the past with my own negative relationship with food and I am simply sharing some things that help me with my relationship with food and tips that have helped my clients. If you struggle with eating disorders, I 100% recommend you first seek help from a professional therapist, psychologist, or counsellor. Here are some resources that can help you within Alberta HERE**
No matter what your negative association with food is, it is important to figure out what the issue is, then you can take steps towards improving and repairing your relationship with food.
To help yourself navigate what the issue is, it's helpful to write it out.
Here's a little exercise you can do: write down on a piece of paper or a note in your phone describing your relationship with food.
What is food to you? Do you find it enjoyable and fun? Does it make you think of family and comfort? Does it make you stressed? Are you confused by it? Do you think of food as only fuel, not meant to be enjoyed? When you think of food do you focus on how it will impact your health or weight loss? Does it provide comfort when you are stressed? How long does that comfort feeling last?
Write it all down.
Most will find that their feelings regarding food are complicated and conflicting. That is very common. But taking the time to learn what your relationship with food is like will also help you learn what emotions and triggers you have surrounding food. For some, it may be feelings of loneliness, stress or maybe sadness. For others, it may be a mindless thing that they just like to eat out of boredom or eat while watching TV. You may discover you have a combination of these emotions and triggers surrounding food. But once you can pinpoint what the issues are, you can work on some steps to help repair your relationship with food.
Now that you have a better understanding of what food means to you and you've discovered a little more about your relationship with it, here are some tips that you can use to help improve your relationship with food.
These are things I used in my own personal struggles with food that helped me greatly and I use these with my training clients as well to help them with their struggles with food.
1. Stop focusing on losing weight (for now)
I mentioned this in my original blog, that is you struggle with losing weight AND you struggle with your relationship with food, constantly trying to lose weight while ignoring your issues with food will only exaggerate the issue. I know it's hard but for the short term, while you work on your relationship with food, it would be best to focus on this first, then you can concentrate on weight loss once you feel ready. This may also include stopping tracking calories and macros for now. Again, this doesn't have to be a forever thing, but for now, you can focus more on your health, eating quality, high nutrient-dense foods and learning to balance the fun foods in moderation.
2. Focus on "adding in" instead of "taking away"
When we want to lose weight or change our diet, the tendency is to remove the less healthy foods from our lives. Take away all the chocolate, pizza, cake; restrict more and more. But in doing this, you are creating a negative association with those foods and you will instead focus more on what you can't have. Then when you do have them, you binge or fall off track completely. Instead of taking food away and swearing off certain food groups, focus on what you can add to your every day diet. Adding in a serving of fruit or veggies at every meal, adding more water, more protein, etc. This will give you a good goal to focus on, that will not only improve your nutrition quality but also by adding more foods into your life, you focus less on restriction.
3. Stop the "all or nothing" mentality.
You may believe that to be successful with this, you have to be 100% perfect with your nutrition, all the time. That going off track even slightly means you've failed, which either leads to either over restriction or saying "F*%K it!" and giving up altogether. Let's start by removing the word "failed" from your vocabulary. By having some cake and pizza, you did not fail. You literally cannot fail at this, no matter how much cake you eat or how many times you feel like you're restarting. No one is grading you at how well you restrict yourself from cake and pizza. There's no prize or award given to the one who can say "no" to office doughnuts the most. So drop the all or nothing mentality and focus on being as consistent as you can (see #5).
4. Remove "good" and "bad" from your vocabulary
Food is not "bad" or "good" and you didn't "fail" because you ate pizza last week at girl's night. Shitting on yourself every time you have pizza will only reinforce the negativity surrounding food. Learn to associate certain foods with how they make you feel and how they help your body, not whether they are good or bad. There are foods that have more nutrients, more fibre, fewer calories that will help your body feel and function well, these are generally speaking higher quality and more healthy. Then there's food that's less nutrient-dense, higher-calorie that is meant to be fun and enjoyed!
5. Follow the 80/20 rule
80/20 rule is very simple; 80% of the time, focus your nutrition on foods that are better quality, higher fibre, nutrient-dense foods, in other words, the more "healthy" foods. Think of whole foods like your veggies, fruit, healthy fats, lean protein, whole grain carbs and starches, etc. Then 20% of the time, fit in the fun foods you enjoy. Have the cake, pizza and a glass of wine in moderation. If you aren't sure of how to do that, set yourself a goal for the next 30 days to be on track with nutrition 24 out of 30 days. For the majority of the time, you are on track with focusing on whole foods that are nutrient-dense and then in moderation, enjoy some time to relax and eat what you enjoy.
If that seems too overwhelming to start with, try going shorter term so 24 out of the next 30 meals. For 3 meals a day for the next 10 days (30 meals total) you will focus on nutrient-dense, high-quality foods, for 24 out of those 30 meals, and the other 6 meals can have the treats you enjoy. The key here is being able to accept that perfectionism doesn't exist and allowing yourself to have that flexibility (see #3).
6. Stop distracted eating.
Do you eat in front of the TV or on your phone? I am guilty of this too! Try eating your food at the table and put your phone away. This is one that helped me a lot, especially since I am a very fast eater and can easily overeat without thinking about it. By limiting distractions while you eat, it forces you to not only slow down, but you will enjoy your food so much more and be able to listen to your body's full cues better and prevent overeating. Try eating your dinner at your table with the TV and your phone off, listen to music maybe if it's too quiet. Take the time to slow down a bit and enjoy your meal, and listen to your body as you get full.
7. Use the 20-minute rule.
If you struggle with eating everything in the cupboard late at night while binging on Netflix, this can be very helpful. The 20-minute rule is simply if you feel like you're about to binge on a full gallon of ice cream or eat a bag of chocolate chips (my weakness!), set yourself a timer for 20 minutes. For 20 minutes, you won't touch that food, have a glass of water, go for a walk, stretch, have a bath, clean, sexy time, whatever! Then once the 20 minutes are up, if you really still want that food, go for it. But many times, you will find that the craving or urge to eat everything in sight will go away. This does require catching yourself before you dig into the cupboard, but it is remarkably helpful.
8. Stop using exercise to "earn" your food.
You don't need to earn food!! If I could type emoji's I would use the little clappy hands between each of those words. You may think to yourself that because you had cake, that means you have to do another workout or go for a run when you get home. NO!! Just no. Not only is it nearly impossible to outrun a bad diet, but feeling like you have to "earn" food through exercise will also associate punishing yourself with food. No more earning your food!
9. Check your social media "diet"
If you spend significant time on your phone, and who doesn't nowadays, you need to be aware of who and what type of content you are consuming. If you follow accounts and influencers that peddle BS quick-fix weight-loss scams, or people who preach that the only way to be successful is to cut out all bad foods and that you must not have good discipline or willpower if you have a doughnut. Check your social media and what you're consuming for content, if that content doesn't help you or makes you feel worse about yourself or your relationship with food, UNFOLLOW!
I hope you found these tips helpful found at least one or two that you can use to help incorporate into your own life. Working on your relationship with food is not easy and it's not a linear journey. Some weeks will be easier than others and some will be harder, but as long as you keep doing the work and keep putting in the effort, it will get better!
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